


Yesterday

by CallMeMars



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, But with a happy ending, F/M, M/M, Paul Is Sad, Sad, That's it, alternative universe - john doesn't die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-13 06:40:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18935473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallMeMars/pseuds/CallMeMars
Summary: When Paul gets the news that John was shot and is in the hospital, on his way to a surgery, everything seems to collapse. McCartney then leaves for new York in hopes of being able to mend the broken relationship between them.





	Yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! So, this is a oneshot that I wrote last night. This is not the fic I said that was very sad yet hahaha, but that one is coming soon!! Well, anyway, hope you like <3

When Paul heard the news, he practically went into panic, the phone fell from his hands and his knees crashed, letting his body slide slowly through the wall until he sat on the floor. He did not move, even when Linda came to ask what happened, collecting the forgotten phone and listening to the terrible news.

After what seemed like hours, the tears began to burn his eyes, so Paul clenched his eyelids tightly while strong hiccups made his whole body tremble. It seemed that something in his chest burned painfully, he knew that the situation could be worse, but fear took over his mind.

They had called Paul from New York, saying that John had been shot and was taken to the hospital in a serious state, at the time of the call he was going to surgery, they weren’t sure whether he would survive or not. And that was the biggest fear that existed inside his heart, he didn't want John to die, more than anything, he didn't want Lennon to die without ever making amends.

"I-I need to go there... I need to see him. " Paul said, getting up, finally realizing how his legs had gotten weak, almost falling on the kitchen floor, being helped by Linda.

"Paul, you can’t... When he gets better-"Linda tried to calm her husband but was interrupted abruptly.

"What if he doesn't get better? I can't wait... I've waited too long... " The man walked away from his wife, taking the phone from the blonde's hand and entering a number. Linda didn't know what Paul meant by that last part, but she didn't want to stress her husband even more.

In less than 2 hours, Paul was embarking on a flight to New York with Linda. As they waited for takeoff, the couple remained silent, the blonde knew her husband would not open up to her until he was absolutely certain that his friend was well, so she would not press him. Paul was lost in thought, drowning in regrets and memories that didn't seem so distant then what they really were. 

 

\- - - - - -

_John and Paul were in the house of the youngest, sitting together writing songs, so concentrated they didn't realize the hours were going by. The sky was already darkening when they decided to stop, leaving aside their instruments and going down the stairs so they could eat something, being satisfied with simple sandwiches that Jim had prepared earlier._

_While sitting side by side in Paul's bed, chewing on his snacks and talking about some teenage nonsense, McCartney looked at Lennon's face. For the first time, his heart jumped a beat and a strange tingling appeared in the mouth of his stomach, he felt captured by the beauty of his friend, with his face being adorned by the glasses that John hated so much, but Paul was sure they only made him more beautiful._

_‘I... I think I love him... '_

\- - - - - -

Finally, they reached the hotel where they would stay, Paul practically rushed to the room and wasted no time changing clothes and leaving the suitcases on top of the double bed. Linda was a little overwhelmed by how drowned her husband was being and, while the man walked from one side to the other, the woman listened to the phone ringing and answered it, being received by Yoko's voice.

Paul was so centered on his thoughts and actions that Linda had to practically scream to get his attention. The man stopped walking and turned to his wife, who had some tears in her eyes, but did not seem to be sad, but relieved.

"He's fine... Yoko just said that he got out of surgery and that he was already taken to a room" Linda says smiling to her husband. Paul felt a great relief in his body, he uttered a breath he did not know he was holding and embraced the woman in front of him, feeling, again, the tears falling from his eyes. "He's fine, Paul "

\- - - - - -

_"I'm fine, Paulie," John said, pushing the younger’s hand away from his injured face. The boy had put himself in the middle of a fight again, and now he had a bruise on his cheek and his eye and a cut lip, which wouldn’t stop bleeding and let Paul worried._

_"I'm seeing how fine you are! God John... You've been beaten by four guys, how can you think you're okay? " Paul struck angry, thinking that the result could be worse if Pete and Stu hadn't shown up and helped them. It seemed that the more I watched John, the more bruises they would appear on the boy's body._

_"Well, you're not better than me... They also hit you! " Lennon sighed angry. Actually, Paul also had a bruise on his left cheek and a grated forehead, but he was definitely better than his friend.  "I don't need someone to worry about me... "_

_"I don't care! Now shut the fuck up and let me clean this fucking cut! " Paul excried, having enough of that discussion. Finally, John gave up, crossing his arms and getting burdened, but did not complain, which left the youngest relieved._

_Paul brought the cotton with sterilizing to the cut on the friend's lip again, causing John to move away a little with the acute pain he felt, but then the older pulled himself together and stood still while the youngest carefully cared for the cut. When the bruise was properly cleaned, Paul threw the cotton away and started looking for other cuts for the rest of John's body._

_The youngest decided to clean the knots of the older's fingers, was so concentrated on the task that he paid no attention to anything else around him. He was trying not to look at John's face, because he knew that he would probably kiss him, and he couldn't risk all of his friendship just because he didn't know how to control a stupid little crush._

_McCartney protested when Lennon pushed his hands away once more, ready to begin a rebuked speech, but all thoughts fled from his mind when John held his face with both hands and brought him into a kiss. It was no big deal, just a lip seal, but for Paul, that was all he ever wanted._

_The older stepped away from the other's lips, Paul was in shock for a few seconds, until he resumed consciousness and pulled John to another kiss. The two boys kissed hard, not caring about the rest of the world. When they finally parted, panting and only wanting to be able to kiss for the rest of eternity, Lennon smiled and said._

_"I'm fine, Paulie... "_

\- - - - - -

In the end, Paul decided to wait until the next day to go to the hospital, finally following the advice of Linda, understood that he needed to rest and recover from the shock so that he could talk appropriately with John, being with the mind rested and not about to have a panic attack.

That night, Paul was sitting in one of the porch’s chairs, looking at the New York movement and thinking that in a few hours he could be face-to-face with John, maybe that was the only thing that kept him from totally losing his head and ending up doing something crazy. Linda left the room and sat in the chair next to her husband, Paul thought she would stay silent, but was caught by surprise with the question she asked.

"What's with you and John?" Linda questioned, no hint of pain or jealousy in her voice, just curiosity.

"Nothing... At least, no more... " Paul responded by sighing, deciding that he had no reason to lie to his wife.

"So what had between you before?.... Paul, please tell me the truth" Linda practically begged. Paul turned to his wife, held her hands and looked into her eyes.

"Linda, you're one of the most amazing people I've ever met in my life and I love you... "

"But? "

"But John is... Everything... He is everything in my life, every breath, pain and smile... " Paul gave a dry laugh, while more tears filled his eyes "and I just hurt him, and I don't think I can fix what I blew up "

"Paul, you can always fix things." Linda dried the tears on her husband's face and kissed her forehead, smiling sweetly at him.

"Aren't you angry? Because I love him? " Paul asked, sobbing a little.

"No, of course not! I want you to be happy, I may be your wife, but I'm still your friend.  "For the third time that day, Paul broke down in hiccups and was held by Linda, who stroked his hair and whispered words of consolation.

\- - - - - -

_That was being a stressful day for Paul, he just wanted to lock himself in his hotel room and sleep. He had to fight the tears that insisted on coming out of his eyes, definitely didn't want to cry for John, who now, most likely, had his hands in the panties of whoever that girl was with him._

_McCartney was beating his feet while he was going to his room, thinking he wanted John and that girl to go to hell. He unlocked the door and entered the room, throwing himself into bed and hugging a pillow, but soon regretted it, since his nostrils were invaded by the typical smell of Lennon, and that was enough for the tears to start flowing._

_God, he hated crying for it, but he couldn't help it, he felt cheated on... No, he was being cheated, since it was just over a year ago that John had decided to ask him to be his boyfriend at the turn of years from 64 to 65. He wishes he could say he wasn't surprised, that he expected this, but Paul knew that he had actually believed that John would never do this to him... He was so naïve._

_Paul was sobbing so loud that the pillow could barely muffle the sound, he didn't care if anyone listened, didn't give a damn about whoever was going to show up there, just wanted to be able to close his eyes and when they opened, it was just a nightmare._

_He didn't listen when the bedroom door opened, and John went into the room. Lennon was confused by the hiccups he was listening to from halfway through the corridor, but he definitely didn't expect the painful sounds to come from his boyfriend. The older went to bed and sat on Paul's side, observing in shock how his body trembled with such strength of hiccups._

_"Paulie, what is it? What happened?" John asked, putting a hand on the back of the youngest. Paul sat in the bed abruptly, thick tears still dripping from his eyes and a fiery fire of hatred come out of his orbs._

_"What happened? Why don't you ask that ‘friend’ of yours?” Paul snapped, quoting in the air when referring to the girl John was flirting with less than an hour ago, it was obvious that the youngest was burning with rage, and the feeling only increased when Lennon began to laugh while holding his own stomach. McCartney got up angry and said, "Fuck you, John."_

_Before he could even take one step, John pulled Paul by his wrist, making him fall into his lap. The youngest tried to get out of the embrace of the elder, moving and handing out hits and punches in the chest of the other, but Lennon continued holding him firmly, without shaking with any of his boyfriend's protests._

_"Paulie, My love. You've got it all wrong. " John started explaining, holding Paul's arms harder, he didn't want to get punched in the face "that was just a fan, you know? It was nothing serious, just pretending for her... Remember we have a reputation to uphold? "_

_"You're lying..." The youngest spat, knowing that the boyfriend was telling the truth, but refusing to admit it. John grabbed Paul's chin and kissed him gently, then dried the tears that began to stop falling out of the boy's face and smiled._

_"I love you, and only you, my Paulie. And I will show you all this love "John whispered maliciously angst Paul’s ears, lying him slowly in bed, distributing kisses by the neck of the youngest, biting and sucking at the sensitive skin, taking sighs and small groans from the red lips of the Mccartney._

_Paul's hands wrapped in John's face, pulling him into a warm, luscious kiss. Lennon's lips were more addictive that any drug he had ever experienced, making him so dependent that his insides ached and almost made him crazy with abstinence from kissing that mouth._

_A loud moan broke the lips of the youngest when the two men's pelvis collided, causing a delightful friction against their erect cock. The sound caused John to smile and press his body against Paul's, taking more delicious sounds from the youngest, and Lennon was sure that he could come from only the moaning of his boyfriend._

_"Oh, Paulie. You look so beautiful underneath me” John said while unbuttoned Paul's blouse, kissing the skin that was revealed little by little "you make the most beautiful sounds. No girl would satisfy me like you, my love... I love you, just you."_

_"I love You, Johnny" the youngest replied, quickly undressing his lover, sighing when he saw John's erect penis finally came out of the tight black trousers "Please, fuck me"_

_"It looks like someone is excited" Lennon laughed, pulling Paul's underwear down. For a moment, John was just enjoying the beauty of his boyfriend with a smile on his lips, so slowly his hands began to explore the body of the other, delighting with the soft milky skin. His eyes stopped in Paul's face, John's heart warmed and hurt with the intensity of his feelings "you are the most extraordinary person in the world, I do not know how you decided to stay with me..."_

_"Are we getting all soft now?" Paul provoked, then returned to sit in bed and held John's face with both hands and smiled "My heart Is yours, John... It always been "_

\- - - - - -

The next day, Paul took his time to get ready. Now that despair and fear had come out of his body, the bassist was anxious about what he was going to say to John when they finally meet themselves again. It's been so long since they've seen each other, it seemed like that last fight between them was centuries ago.

"What if he doesn't want to see me?" Paul asked Linda, they were already in a taxi on the way to the hospital. So many doubts floated by the man's head, so many insecurities, he felt smothered.

"Then he will be the most stupid person in the world" Linda replied simply, shrug. Paul smiled at the answer, but he was still nervous about what could happen, couldn't bear the thought that John might not want him around.

But if that were the case, he wouldn't blame Lennon. What he had said to his old lover last time they meet. was extremely wrong and mean, the look of anguish and pain that John had on his face when he left was marked in Paul's memory, and the burden of guilt was overwhelming on his shoulders. It seemed like all his actions after that fight were made to hurt Lennon, all the songs, interviews and even the wedding with Linda.

"Stay calm, Paul. It's going to be all right" Linda assured, intertwining her fingers with those of the man beside her "There's no reason to be afraid "

\- - - - - -

_"Are you ashamed of our relationship?"_

_"What? John, what are you talking about?"_

_"Are you ashamed of our relationship?" John repeated firmly, his body tense on account of the rage he felt at that moment. Paul was in shock, caught by surprise with the so sudden question of his boyfriend "Just answer the fucking question, Paul!"_

_“No! No, of course not! Why the fuck would I be ashamed? " Paul spat back, equally angry at the discussion._

_The couple had met that afternoon to spend some time together, when John brought up the news that, finally, being gay was not considered a crime in England. Paul had already imagined what his boyfriend would suggest as soon as the subject arose, and was not surprised when Lennon said that they could come out to the public_

_"Perhaps the fact that you want to keep hiding us from everyone!? Absolutely no one knows about it! Not even George and Ringo! God, you never wanted to tell anyone about this!" John answered practically screaming._

_"John, speak down--" Paul asked the boyfriend, being interrupted._

_"Why? Are you afraid that people would know the truth? Is that it?" Lennon took a deep breath, passing one of his hands through his hair, trying to get calm "What am I to you, Paul? Looks like this is just a case apart from your life and you're going to dump me for some woman."_

_"You know it's not like that, John." Paul replied, he could hardly think correctly with the whirlwind of emotions he felt "I just don't think it's good that we go public now, it may not be a crime, but people still see it that way."_

_"Right, and why not tell our friends? It's not like they're going to hate us" John kept insisting on making Paul more and more angry._

_"We'll just wait a little longer--"_

_"How long will I have to wait for you? I've been waiting since 59 for this, and now that we have the opportunity, you don't want to?" The older was walking from one side to the other in the room, trying to calm down a little bit more. "Where did all that speech you wanted to scream for everyone to know that we're one of the other?"_

_"Maybe if you weren't a big jerk, I'd have said something," the youngest bark back to his boyfriend, taking him by surprise. "You always keep talking about how you expect things, and how I don't take our relationship seriously, but it wasn't me who got married and had a child, was I?"_

_"You literally told me that I should start dating Cynthia so no one is suspicious about us!" John struck not believing on what he was hearing, and Paul knew it was true, but he had already begun, he would not stop now._

_"During our entire relationship you were an idiot with me and everyone else! You're a self-centered, arrogant, jerk-off person, nobody can stay close to you for long because you always push everyone around you away!" Paul's heart clasped when he saw the tears forming in John's eyes, but he ignored the feeling and continuous "You always make yourself a victim, when in reality you are a toxic and mean person... I don't even know why I spent so much time with you. "_

_"Paul... Just stop it... " John asked with a weak voice, didn't want to hear his boyfriend just confirming all his insecurities._

_"It must have been pity that I stayed with you. Poor John, no one's on his side because he's an asshole. " Paul sneered, saying anything evil that he could think of at that moment, seemed to be on a goal of how much he could hurt his boyfriend "Of course I wouldn't want to tell anyone about it. Who would like people to know of a relationship with you? "_

_"Shut your mouth... I know it's a lie, that's not true. You're just angry" the older struggled against the tears that insisted on running from his eyes, trying not to break in front of Paul._

_"Oh, John. You know it's true! Just think a little bit!... Literally any other person in the world would be better than you. "_

_Finally, a hiccup escaped from Lennon's lips and the tears began to fall by his face, the older left the room and slammed the door, practically rushing out of the house. Meanwhile, the weight of the words Paul said finally jot him, the younger's knees suddenly became soft and he had to sit in bed not to fall to the ground._

_"W-What did I just do?"_

\- - - - - -

Paul and Linda went into the hospital together, lucky enough to avoid the crowds of reports camping outside. They walked to the reception counter, ignoring the looks they received from visitors in the waiting room, and asked about John for one of the nurses who was working, who was quick to ask someone to take the duo to the patient's room.

The two of them stopped in front of the bedroom door, not knowing exactly what to do. Paul was afraid to come in, afraid of what he could see in there, he knew that probably Yoko would be there, and he definitely didn't want to meet the woman, much less wanted her to be present at the time he talked to John.

"Do you want me to go first? So I can talk to them?" Linda asked, putting a hand on Paul's arm, who just nodded. The woman entered the room, while the bassist was standing outside waiting, until a few minutes later, Linda came out with Yoko.

When Yoko's eyes found Paul's, they stared at each other for few seconds, then the woman just kept walking down the aisle, making the man drop a sigh of relief. Linda smiled and said she'd be at the cantina in case he needed anything, so she left the bassist alone in front of the room.

Paul's hands shook and his heart was pounding, he took a deep breath and held the doorknob, slowly turning it, almost as if he were trying to win a few more seconds before to face his old lover, wanting to prepare mentally for the reunion he had eagerly awaited.

When he finally opened the door and entered the room, John was sitting in the hospital bed, serum and blood being connected the guitarist's veins through tubes and needles, the sound of the heart monitor was a certainty that that man was really alive and breathing. Lennon's face acquired an expression of surprise by seeing Paul standing at the door.

Paul imagined he would say "hi" or something else elaborate, maybe just sit next to the bed and then start apologizing, but in reality, he just started to cry. Many tears began to blur his vision, while painful hiccups emanated from his throat, he did not know whether he was crying with sadness, relief or happiness, only knew that he couldn’t stop.

The younger walked to the hospital bed with quick steps and practically threw himself into John's arms, who immediately wrapped him in a squeezing hug. Paul buried his face against his old lover's neck and continued to cry without ceasing, trembling against the other's arms and inhaling Lennon's natural scent.  

They stayed like this for a few minutes, the only sounds in the room being Paul's hiccups and the sound of the cardiac monitor, until finally the younger began to breathe deeply and calm down, now only silent tears ran down his cheeks. McCartney unfolded his embrace and looked at Lennon, deciding that now was the time to apologize.

"I-I... John, I'm sorry for everything I told you... I was so, so stupid. Nothing I told you was true. You're not a toxic person, God, I don't even know where I got this." Paul tried to dry the tears that insisted on falling, forcing his trembling voice to speak "You are the most wonderful person I know, and I was only afraid to say that I love you. It was such a stupidity, you just wanted people to know about us, like any other normal person would want, and I just freaked out. "

John did not try to interfere while the younger spoke, willing to listen to what he had to say, he only held the hands of his old lover and tried to encourage him in the best possible way to keep talking.

"When they called me and told me what happened, I was so scared. I thought I was going to lose you forever, that the last thing you ever heard me say to you would be all those horrible things... I love you so much, more than I love anyone else in the world, and I didn't give you the proper value... I'm sorry. " Paul finished speaking, waiting for John's answer, who lifted one of his hands and strode his face.

"You hurt me a lot with the things you said... And I know you never meant any of that. " John started talking, Paul could hardly describe the feeling he was feeling while listening to the older's voice after so long "I haven't stopped thinking about you all this time that we've been apart... I just wanted to be around you, to be able to hold you and tell you how much I love you... I've been waiting for you, waiting for you to come to me so we can try again... Because there's nothing I wanted more in the world than to be yours. "

The two men smiled at each other, so John leant forward and sealed their lips. That was not a hot and passionate kiss, it was just a touch between their mouths, but it was the most intense and intimate of all the kisses that had ever shared, that took both their breaths and left them lightly dizzy. When they parted, they kept their foreheads together and eyes closed, enjoying each other's presence, it was only after what seemed hours in silence that Paul spoke.

"My heart Is yours... Always has been, and always will be"

**Author's Note:**

> [I’M POSTING THIS ON SOCIAL SPIRIT, TUMBLR AND WATTPAD AS WEEL]
> 
> Social Spirit: https://www.spiritfanfiction.com/historia/yesterday-16575237
> 
> Tumblr:
> 
> Wattpad:


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